There have been many things going on in my life since the turn of the new year that have been insanely stressful. I'm not going to go into all of them but I will go into one in particular which leads me to my next bitch fest.
Last week I had an MRI. The reason is that I was having back pain periodically through the last twelve years. After having my Princess, the pain was getting more intense and it would occur more frequently than before. So after the last attack of pain, that lasted 1.5 months I went to the doctor, got x-rays which led to an MRI, which led to my results yesterday.
The results that I received could have been worse. Something like cancer would have been the worst. Obviously it wasn't a clean bill of health either because I wouldn't have something to bitch about today if it was. The diagnosis was degenerative disc disorder. It is quite severe and surgery is definitely in my future. I am also unable to continue in my chosen profession of personal support worker (the dirty end of a nurse's job basically).
This news stunned me. It was not an easy thing to hear, yet I didn't know how to react. I didn't know how to feel. I did however know one thing. Since my Princess was going to be going to school this coming September I was able to get my career back and be ME again. Now, it wasn't going to happen. I wasn't sure if I was sad due to the diagnosis or sad due to the fact that once again, what I wanted, that was so close, was then taken from me.
I called my Dad, as he wanted to know what the results were from the MRI. Low and behold, once I told him he started barking off about if I lost 100 lbs the disorder would go away and I'd be fine. To him, everything is about weight and exercise. He wouldn't let me tell him that this had nothing to do with the fact that I have a more than healthy body size, but everything to do with the car accident I was in 12 years ago. He ended up hanging up on me. Thanks for the support Dad, I'll fuckin remember that when its time to decide if you need a nursing home.